That’s what they said they have. I never want to hear that phrase again in my life. Ever. Seriously. It was the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire 16 years of being. The thought behind it brought what is by far the worst day of my life into reality. I’ve prayed and hoped for the past 4 or 5 years that the 5 of us could be family again… That somehow Dad would get to where he was home and that Mom could just have a little more patience with him. I’ve prayed and hoped for the past year that they could be happy, that we all could be happy. I prayed that we could be happy together. Then, a couple of months ago, I started praying just for happiness and peace. I prayed that we could have it either together or somehow just two families of 4 with only 5 people involved… But I really just wanted for us all to be together; to function in the proper familial way. But apparently, somehow, the vice that means we can’t is ‘irreconcilable’. How the hell can two people who fell in love and promised to love each other for freakin’ ever have an ‘irreconcilable problem’? What happened? That’s not supposed to happen.
This will more than likely have more added to it later when I know I won’t cry. If anybody reading this is the praying sort, could you please pray for strength and peace for my family (ESPECIALLY my parents)?
So, since posting this yesterday, I have talked with my Momma and had some of my questions answered and I can be more at peace with everything going on. There are a ton of things floating around in my head right now and after this weekend is over (huzzah for faire rehearsals and my family there) I will most certainly add those thoughts to this post as I think the whole thought process should be put on here… It’s going to take time and it’s going to hurt but we’ll get through this and life will be better. Thank you so much for the prayers, I’m certain that that is part of why I am beginning the long process of becoming at peace with everything.
So, It’s been like a week and a half since I said I’d post back… I guess that’s because I just don’t have much more to say. I understand now why all of this is happening… I wish it wasn’t, but it is. My Mom was angry at my Dad and at herself and he wouldn’t listen to her when she said she wasn’t going to live this way anymore and that this was going to happen if he didn’t change. He’s changing now, but it’s too late. She wanted forever, but she hasn’t had a husband here to love for two years, she’s just been loving memories of him. My heart hurts for my Momma. I’m so very terrified that I’m going to end up in the same situation because I’m so much like my Mom. She said that I just need to have honest, open communication with whoever I marry and life will be a lot easier. God willing I’ll be ab;e to do that.