Okay, so if you’ve read anything I’ve written on here, you probably know that I’ve fallen kind of really way in love with this really wonderful young man. Said young man doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore that I know of but I really need to talk to him about that… Anyway, when said young man comes and stays at our house (pretty gigantic perk of having a twin brother who is pretty much automatically friends with any guy I could possibly date), which is a fairly normal occurrence of our week (also my favorite part of the week), everything is very very peaceful and happy. Then he has to leave, we both know he has to leave, and it’s sad when he leaves. Not like depressingly sad, but it’s like some part of my happy leaves. I’m still a very genuinely happy person, but it’s still like I’m missing something… The something happens to be him. But I know I’m going to see him again so it’s okay. The thing is, I think he feels it too. It’s kind of an amazing feeling. Knowing you love somebody and feeling that they love you too is amazing. He was in the car riding with us on a trip that lasted about an hour and my sister and I sat on either side of him in the back seat. We were all really tired and my sister fell asleep after we convinced her that we were asleep… Well, then we’re like right next to each other and I’m leaned up against him; so naturally I fall asleep. The only thing I was aware of was our arms up against each other and when he moved his arm to put a blanket under my sister’s head as a pillow (I was freaking out in my head because I thought he was moving away until I realized what he was doing) before moving back. It was very very peaceful. Very happy… Like, I don’t want the moments like that to ever end.
That was really the first sweet, just the two of us, quiet moment we’ve had and it was nice. I have never really put much faith in the importance of physical touch (just being near each other and hugging, etc, etc) with a significant other for who knows what reason, but I think I’ve found just how important it is. Just being next to him is a connection we don’t usually have. We’re really good friends and have been for a couple years and so we understand each others facial expressions and tone of voice and everything to a certain extent but the first time I had ever hugged him was less than 3 months ago… I’ve never initiated hugging him or sitting next to him or anything because I was afraid that he would think I’m clingy or something but I really think I should. I just hope I can. Me and my nervous Nelly-ness get in the way, I guess. I think it’ll be okay. We’ll be good. I just need to talk to him about the whole dating thing before some other girl asks him out and we end up where we were back in February. 😉