Crawling in a Hole

That’s what I want to be doing right about now.  My Dad and brother are frustrating the ever-loving snot out of me and all I can do is write.  I’m going nuts.  Positively nuts.  I think I have some sort of pride in my writing or something, though, because somehow, knowing other people can see this helps a lot.  It’s weird.  And strange.  But so am I.  And right now I want to go crawl in a hole and wait for it all to be over.  But that’s like wishing for death and I don’t want to do that.  Waiting in a deep dark hole until this was all over would mean being alone for quite some time, waiting for something that won’t ever happen because what we are now is the new normal.  It’s not going to stop.  My parents aren’t going to get back together, and I understand that.  I just wish it wasn’t so out of my control because I hate not knowing what’s going on and my Dad and brother won’t talk to me like they talk to each other so I have no idea what either one of them wants to do at any given moment. Crawling in a hole wouldn’t be the solution I suppose…  Only because that would mean being depressed and thus missing out on the blessings that life IS presenting me with right now.  I have a beautiful sister and a fantastic twin; a Mom who loves me dearly and who I am like in a million different ways, and a Dad who’s decided he actually is going to make an effort to know his oldest daughter now.  I have a fantastic family of friends at church and the ren faire.  I’ve found somebody who’s quite awesome and is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, and I’m pretty sure I’m not losing his friendship anytime soon.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  So maybe I won’t crawl in a hole, just stick a bag over my head for a while.  😉


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2 Responses to Crawling in a Hole

  1. Erin Cook says:

    Can I join you in the bag? We can tell ghost stories if you like.

  2. rea says:

    You could totally join me in the bag, if you want! Ghost stories would be great (as long as you’re telling them, because I don’t think I could tell a scary story to save my life). 🙂


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