Is it right for a father to justify his shortcomings by comparing himself to his own father who was ‘worse’?

Is it wrong for a girl to love a man she calls her father but not want him to be her father because she can’t trust him anymore?  To want to go to his house, to miss him when she’s not with him, but not want to call the place home because it’s just short of fact that he’ll leave her again and nobody, not even her father, believes otherwise?

Where are the lines?

When her father tells her and her brother about his childhood- about how his dad beat his mom.  Tells them that they think their dad is messed up, but they have no concept of what messed up is.  To tell them that they’ve been sheltered, they’ve never really been hurt how he was even though he was absent from their lives for 4 or 5 years.  Even though he told them repeatedly that he’d fix it, that he’d be home again, and that didn’t happen until it was too late.

Should that girl, should I, really feel hurt?  No, my father has never physically abused me, but does that discount my hurt somehow?  I can’t even fathom the pain people who have been abused feel, but just because I’m not physically hurting, doesn’t take away from the pain I feel in my heart.  Should it?


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