I don’t do many ‘risky’ things, I don’t suppose. I’ve been labeled the goody two shoes, the innocent one, you name it. Never has taking chances been my middle name. And I’m not sure it ever will be. Not without good reason. Which I may have found. Not to say I don’t have a life. I just tend to stay on the safe side. Mostly because of ‘you’. You being a handful of people that have broken my heart in two. And it’s still healing. Day by day. Step by step. And the most important thing I’ve learned Possibly in my entire life for the past 5 years Is that Sometimes Taking the risks is the quickest way to healing Sometimes. To break past the fear Knowing that No matter what I am beloved by my Father, My Creator, My Lord. I was made in His image I will fall short There is no doubt But He will pick me back up again And help me break past the hurt And heal once more. And this knowledge is why I will keep taking the risks that I can’t live without. There’s a really lovely quote “It is a risk to love. But what if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does. ” By Peter McWilliams I try my best to keep it in mind. But I fail… A lot. I took one of the biggest risks of my life Approximately 78 days ago I dove headfirst into trying to start a relationship Can you say ‘WHOA’? Big realizations have come my way Realizing just what I want out of life’s ultimate Best Friend And what I need Realizing what I want but can live without Realizing the physical pain attached to missing someone you love so much Without really knowing the person you love As time is an issue And something he doesn’t have much of Knowing that expectations are my own worst enemy That communication is the most important thing Realizing that doubts get in the way But that they need to be addressed Or they’ll sit a fester And, also, I’ve realized what it feels like To see even the remotest possibility of unrequited love Even though he said ‘yes’ Not knowing has almost made my heart break Because I’m assuming the worst: That it might be over before we’ve even started. Hence a phone call this evening that I don’t want But need. A conversation that could mean growth The end Or reassurance I’ll say I’ll keep trying I won’t give up But you have to keep trying with me I need more from you Or I don’t know what to do I won’t know how to trust you How to be worthy of your trust I’ll say that I hope we can still try Because I care so very much about you There’s something about you Something special That just makes me feel alive But I need to know that I make you feel the same I need to know you care Distance is our biggest barrier And I need your reassurance to keep going despite that. We need to take this risk together, if it’s gonna work. Nobody ever said it would be easy It’ll probably be hard But I’ll do it if you will Because you are worth it, I am worth it, and we are worth it. And I have no more words I only hope this is enough That the doubts and fears are unfounded That my risk will be worth it That, if it isn’t, I’ll be able to take the risk again.