There’s an article making it’s rounds on social media called Why Women Aren’t Crazy. It has words that I needed to hear. I didn’t know I needed to hear them, but I did. This gaslighting thing is one of my Dad’s talents. The line between doing it and not is one that a lot of guys my age seem to walk. And it’s something that a really good guy friend of mine is good at avoiding. Big surprise, I am constantly hurt by my Dad despite my best efforts, and I feel constantly at ease around that friend (despite the opposition of some people close to me). I struggle to tell my Dad anything, but I’ll tell this other person everything. Until very recently, I felt guilty about both. It’s a trust thing. When I am able to know that I won’t be belittled for my emotions, I can express them and work through them with the other person with relative ease. And that is a very good thing. So, before I move on to the rest of this post, thank you, gentlemen who not only let but encourage women to own their emotions.
Now, I should admit that I’ve been in the wrong. Sadly enough, when I’m in the wrong, it’s mostly with guys who, even when I’m mad at them, are great guys who I trust with the aforementioned very important trust. I call them stupid. I call them obnoxious and obtuse and annoying. I call them jerks. And I can’t be more sorry. It’s all somewhat akin to the part of the article where it says men “continue to burden women because they don’t refuse our burdens as easily”. I only do this to men who don’t refuse my emotions as easily. I take pent up memories of hurt from whatever sort of relationship with other guys and take it out on the ones who are nice to me. It’s an issue. It’s a very bad and mean thing for me to do. So, I’m sorry. For heaven’s sake, I am sorry.
I’m starting this crazy new adventure in life here soon (like, tomorrow), and part of it is changing the way I deal with relationships. I pinky promise to think more about what I’m saying.