In the last few days I have seriously considered leaving this blog and making a brand new one to reflect some changes in my life and perspective and writing topics.
I decided against it.
I find myself posting on here a lot about boys. I don’t want to anymore. Because I’m still in this season, and sometimes good things happen in silence. Or that’s what I’m telling myself. At least for now.
I find myself posting a bunch of life on Facebook. I think it’s better suited for this space. As a result, I’m going to start posting links to my posts on Facebook for those who get some giggles out of following the craziness of me. I just hope y’all will forgive me for the huge amounts of teenage girl awkwardness pertaining to the male gender.
Actually, I just hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. The reason I’m keeping this blog is so that I don’t separate parts of my life. So that I can go back and recognize what I’ve learned, how I’ve hurt, and what I’ve enjoyed in the past and then hopefully add to it in some new and different ways.
I’m going to be posting a lot on college life. Things I find intriguing. I’m not going to make this writing academic. I have enough of that going on. This will be my place where I can use idioms and colloquialisms and contractions and too many ands and weird punctuation. I might even thrown some Greek in for kicks and giggles. My place of raw humanness.
I’ll also be posting about my weird state of semi-independence and my activities outside of college (which is what part two of this post is about, actually). Because school ain’t all there is to life. I might even throw in some pictures. I haven’t decided yet.
Also, I’m a stinkin’ adult now, and as such, when I decide I want to make whatever point I deem pointy enough to make, my language might reflect my intensity. If you don’t think a nice kinda sorta southern girl should be using such language, feel free to ask me about whys. I’ll probably have an answer.
I will make one promise. And that is that most of what I post will either not make much sense or it will make too much sense. Also (I lied, this is two promises), I won’t bite if you comment or ask questions or share some of your own randomness.
I have this Creativity and the Arts class in college, right? Apparently most college students don’t see themselves as creative. This strikes me as crazy weird because most of them are. It makes me thankful that my Mom has basically forced me to “just do it” in terms of things like painting and poetry and improv (through many a tear). Because apparently this push is not a normal one. It’s funny how your view of home is intensified when you’re removed from it for a time. Anyway, I performed at a wedding the other day. It was the wedding of two of my most favorite renaissance festival people (there’s one sort of creativity) and when I performed, I mean I danced. And when I say danced, I mean belly danced (another kind of creativity, wut?). With my Mom and 3 other ladies around my Mom’s age. And it was wonderful and I am beyond glad that I was asked to be a small part of their day. Surrounding this dance were a couple interesting thoughts. Firstly, I’ve performed with this troupe two other times and both of those times I was nervous as all get out. The other day, I was perfectly fine. No nerves, just a “oh yeah, we’ve got this, let’s rock it” mentality. I attribute this to my awesome mother and other who have shared their brains with me and my summer of rappelling down a castle and breaking a board and white water rafting (IN SCOTLAND). *nods* The other interesting thing was that I wore nothing but my skirts and choli the whole time. For those who don’t know, a choli is the top that is generally worn underneath saris and can be worn to dance in. They don’t cover any part of your stomach whatsoever. Also, for those who don’t know me too well, I’m a little bit self conscious sometimes. And by sometimes I mean 95% of the time. And I’ve gained weight in the last year (long story and I’m not a fan, but hey). So it’s even weirder. Not to mention that I’m generally more of a train wreck around guys my age that I know and there were certainly a few present. I’m also Bible Belt Southern-ish Christian Lady with Authority Issues. And along with that comes the whole modesty thing. So this wedding dance thing was an exercise in defining my modesty and values, I guess. Somehow, I can only assume by the Grace of God (another interesting creativity note here that I really should return to), I was completely comfortable in what I was wearing and doing, and I had this sheer confidence that is so not “me”. And, shh it’s a secret, I really kind of liked it. It was great. I smiled the entire dance. I probably forgot something, but who really cares. And it was wonderful. (And HOLY MOLY, was the wedding itself AWESOME!?!?! I love those people.) So, my views on modesty through creativity, weddings, and belly dance: If I’m confident, I’m doing something right. Because I am totally okay with attributing such things to divine intervention. Making me myself in spite of my best efforts or some such shenanigans. As long as I’m acting with class and poise, the haters gonna hate (yes, I just said that. Yes, I’m so owning it), but every little thing is gonna be all right.
So, yeah. There you go. A dose of My Chapter Number Another. Thanks for coming along for the ride.