“Good relationships may take work, but unfortunately, when it comes to love, trying is always trying too hard: work doesn’t work. Play is what works. In fact, when you are working at it you know it has gone wrong, that something is already missing.”
Note- I think this applies to non-romantic relationships, too, as well as romantic relationships which maybe haven’t reached love (but have reached emotional connection).
As someone who tends toward wanting to know what’s happening and to want control… As someone who realizes that this explains the nagging feeling of something bad even when it all seems like it should be good and innocent (and maybe it explains others decisions to say it just won’t work)… This is a… centering? Stabilizing? Reassuring? … thing to read. I have tried several times in several types of relationship to make it work and to be the half that fixes it, no matter how hard I have to try. And, while good relationships DO take work, the trying to do that work shouldn’t be that hard because both people are actively responding to its necessity. I’ve come to realize lately that some (most) of the best things happen by some sort of natural thing. They don’t need to be forced. And sometimes that means I don’t need to force a relationship to be okay, but it also means that (after time) I don’t have to work to move myself away from whatever remains of it. If that means falling for the same smile over and over and over again, then maybe that smile is a good thing and not something to push away. Also, if I keep feeling like something is wrong over and over again, then maybe what’s happening doesn’t work. Maybe it needs to be reassessed somehow.
I must stop here because I have class in 5 minutes… But I couldn’t not share this.