Closets Aren’t Homes via Ash Beckham


This is not about being gay or being female or wanting pancakes (though I could really go for some purple pajamas with fish on them right about now… 😛 ), contrary to what seems to be the general feeling. I don’t care if Ash is gay or not. What I care about is that she’s had to grapple with hard things and she’s making the point that such things have to be grappled with no matter who you are. That staying silent and staying in a closet or a corner or a dark room doesn’t make the problem go away.
There’s this feeling that hard conversations should be approached “at the right time” or with all of your defenses lined up so you don’t get shot down. Well, let me tell you something: I had a not so easy (I’m not going to call it closet-like hard) conversation with someone I love (who loves me and looks out for me) lately. Things had broken down because of misunderstandings and me being stupid and some overreaction. I wasn’t able to have the conversations that started to fix things until I had talked to a couple really amazing and supportive friends of mine. And even then, the thing that got me to break a silence I didn’t want to break was comments like how problems don’t just go away if you ignore them. Or tips on what specifically to say i the conversation to be up front and honest as well as respectful. And most importantly, how there will never be enough words or the right words and that there WON’T EVER BE A GOOD TIME TO HAVE THESE HARD CONVERSATIONS. You’re not going to get anywhere by saying you need to wait for the right time to tear down the wall or open the sticky door. It’s not gonna work.
Avoiding hard conversations because they’re scary doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t open any doors. It doesn’t do anything but hurt you and the relationships between you and others.
1.- “If you want someone to be real with you they need to know that you bleed, too.”
2.- Paraphrased- If you say might when you really mean yes or you really mean no, the person you’re talking with will hold out hope that things will change. Don’t instill this false hope in someone you care for.
3.- I don’t think I can ever unsee Mr. Rogers’ middle finger. O.o And I don’t necessarily agree with being unapologetic. You should just take care with what you apologize for.

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