I talk a lot about how my Dad was gone a lot. And how it really really seriously screwed basically everything up. I think I’ve even mentioned that it’s not one of those things you just get over. That what my Dad did to my family, if not emotionally abusive, was neglectful behavior. And that’s some serious stuff that doesn’t just go away.
However, in the link there is a man who talks of being away from his wife and children a lot because he’s a firefighter. And I stand behind him one hundred and ten percent. I happen to know a family whose dad/husband is a firefighter, and they seem like a rather happy family. Beyond that, though, this man has a reason for being gone. A good reason. A respectful reason. A reason his wife and children should be proud of. He recognizes the sacrifices they make so he can serve his fellow citizens. And he speaks of them with love. They still feel the sting of him being gone when most families have their dad/husband, but it’s a different kind of hurt than what I’ve hurt. It’s not any less of a hurt. But the healing I feel is probably delivered by the father himself.
It’s all in the motivation. It is never “any means to an end.” It is always the means to the end that makes the difference. Always.