When I’m too busy with finals to actually think about things so stuff like this just hits me like a brick wall and then you get to read the super condensed version


I feel like I’m falling out of a … something strong and fuzzy… I didn’t know I still held…

Becoming friends.

It’s all very terrifying.

He’s still one of my favorite people.

I enjoy being around him.

If I could spend forever talking to him and being around him, I probably would. (Which sounds completely creepy. And I’m not entirely sure how to remedy that. But I can’t get you to understand unless you’ve done this. It’s a totally platonic “you make me laugh”, it’s completely stressless around you, and the same cannot be said for a few parts of my life right now {though things like college stress are definitely OK} so I just like being around you, kay? sort of thing.)

I’m still not 100% (or even 22%) sure what happened between us.

Feelings.

His or mine.

What happened.

What I was thinking.

Any of it.

So what is it that I’m feeling all of a sudden?

Resignation to never knowing?

Resignation to my fate of being friend zoned?

A sudden smack of knowledge that I will never be to him what he was to me?

The full realization of the intricacies of unrequited love?

And why is it hopeful?

Because I hope things will change?

Because I hope this means I’ll grow close to someone else soon?

What?

I. Don’t. Even. Know.

And currently I’m gonna ignore it. Because I need friends right now so I don’t lose my mind (hello, college, nice to meet you). And he’s one of them. And I don’t have any intentions of changing anything about that anytime soon.

In fact, if we could just forget it all ever happened, that would be grande.

Sorry self, that’s not how hearts work.

Well, shoot.

Friends’ll do. Won’t forget, but I’ll just not think about it. Embrace the moment and things. *nods*

Me

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to When I’m too busy with finals to actually think about things so stuff like this just hits me like a brick wall and then you get to read the super condensed version

  1. rea says:

    Dear people who know who I’m talking about,
    Please don’t think I’m nuts or weird or creepy or anything else I currently feel about myself. I’m pretty sure it’s not actually true. But sometimes thoughts just kind of hit me like a brick wall. Like a brick wall the size of the Berlin Wall. And I just have to say SOMETHING. And this is today’s something.

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s