Dearest Universe,
I’m bad at boys. I get it.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I really can’t bear to think about rejection.
No matter how much I try to convince myself that it’s not such a big deal.
But I’m bad at talking.
I’m bad at hugging.
I’m bad at looking them in, ya know, their eyes.
I just don’t know what I’m doing.
And I don’t think I have room in my heart to get close to another guy, be rejected, and rescue our friendship.
I’m tired.
And I’m supposed to feel like everyone else is feeling this way, too.
Most days I’m not pretty enough
Confident enough
Free enough.
And I’m scared.
And I pray.
Oh God do I pray.
And I’ve gotta trust that the plan that has me in mind also has my happiness in mind.
But sometimes that’s hard.
And mostly I’m just self defeating.
I need to get out of my head.
And just kind of live for once.

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